This is not going to be a popular article. People might think that I’m anti-weed, I’m not. I’m just anti my son smoking it. Everyone else has to make their own decision on the matter. There are reasons why I’m against legalizing Mexican Dirt Weed and they have nothing to do with bible thumping or me being some kind of overly judicious nut job that that thinks you have to walk a straight line. My reasons are purely related to climate change, sort of, ok, they’re not, but they have the same concept in mind. It’s the long game.

In climate change advocates, which I’m one of, and as you can see in this article, it is only getting worse, climate change (link brings you to a weather channel story) is not something you can stop in one day. It requires that you think about the long game. It requires that you think into the future and see the disasters that lay ahead for our children and grandchildren. Well, making Mary Jane legal needs those same considerations.

Let me start pre-pakaloco era. Remember when cigarettes came out. All the cool people were doing it and if you weren’t smoking then you just weren’t cool. You guys might know some of these people. I think one is a former President. I’m a Mets fan, so I don’t know if that’s Babe Ruth or Joe Dimaggio, but just remember that the Yankees promote smoking, well used to, and go visit Citi Field instead.

To no fault of their own, these people endorsed the use of cigarettes. Why wouldn’t they. The doctors all said that there was no harm from smoking and that it was safe for all ages, maybe they didn’t say all ages, but you get the point. What the doctor didn’t tell us is that he has a brand new yacht that is in the harbor by his, (I don’t say her not because women couldn’t be doctors, I just think they were too smart to promote cigarettes), brand new beach house in Bermuda and it is paid by the cigarette manufacturers. We all now know how that little tidbit of research ended up. Just in case I’ll post some of those tidbits. This is what cigarettes do according to the CDC. Just click on the link, don’t forget to come back.

Smoking is the leading cause of preventable death.

• Worldwide, tobacco use causes nearly 6 million deaths per year, and current trends show that tobacco use will cause more than 8 million deaths annually by 2030.²
• Cigarette smoking is responsible for more than 480,000 deaths per year in the United States, including more than 41,000 deaths resulting from secondhand smoke exposure. This is about one in five deaths annually, or 1,300 deaths every day.¹
• On average, smokers die 10 years earlier than nonsmokers.³
• If smoking continues at the current rate among U.S. youth, 5.6 million of today’s Americans younger than 18 years of age are expected to die prematurely from a smoking-related illness. This represents about one in every 13 Americans aged 17 years or younger who are alive today.

Still not convinced. Let’s do the other legal addictive drug. Alcohol. Who doesn’t enjoy a good stiff drink or two after a hard days work or while out driving, wait not driving, strike that, while out and about. I know I do. And, hell, even Jesus, if you believe in the Nazarene, turned water to wine but he didn’t turn it into a shot glass full of whiskey. I’m sure he could have if he wanted to but he knew that whiskey didn’t go with fish or anything else for that matter. While wine, in moderation, has actually been said to have rejuvenating effects on the body, Reseveratrol, a bottle of wine has shown to do just the opposite on your liver. Just ask your liver, don’t really ask your liver because if it talks back you have other issues. I would post images of people endorsing alcohol but, right now, I don’t think it would be the smartest move plus I like some of the people that they showed. The fact is that alcohol, in moderation, actually has some healthy benefits or, at least, that’s what the doctors tell us. Damn those yachts.

The other fact is that a certain percentage of people that use alcohol become addicted. That addiction, alcoholism, takes a heavy toll on people. Alcohol abuse, according to the CDC, causes a list of problems that lead to death that is longer than your arm, you know, the thing that bends at the middle to bring the glass to your lips. What’s sad is that the link provided has a page for deaths caused by chronic use of alcohol by people under 21. That means that these poor souls were addicted prior to the legal age of drinking. How? If the law says you can’t drink until 21, how can you be a chronic user before that? Because some people do not have scruples. I was a teen, growing up in Paterson, NJ when I first tried my first taste of alcohol illegally. We just waited outside a liquor store and gave a guy five bucks to buy us the holy grail of cheap booze, MD2020. The wino wine. It wasn’t hard, we just had to buy him his OE 800. This is what transpires and it’s not that unusual. So if you think that because they make a product only for adults that the youngens are not going to partake, well, that’s hopeful wishing.

This brings us to the topic at hand. Making fatty boom blatty legal. There are some misconceptions on how this is going to go down in the future. People think it will reduce the amount of illegal marijuana, it won’t. They think it will reduce jail times, it won’t. People think it will have a positive effect on society, we’ll see, maybe.

There is this agency called the ATF. It stands for Alcohol Tobacco and firearms. Do you know why they have this agency even though all these items are legal, you guessed it, because someone didn’t know they were legal, the same guy that didn’t know that Puerto Rico was a territory of the United States, remember that, it was hilarious, for me, not for the people of Puerto Rico. I’m kidding of course, the reason that they have this agency is because even though these items are legal, it’s still cheaper to get them under the table or illegally and cronick will not be any different. So expect the ATF to become the MATF not in the distant future if, and only if, thai stick becomes legal for recreational use in all 50 states. I’m a downer right, bringing these silly ideas up, well, I have a kid and the last thing I want is him and his buddies hanging out outside a dispensary, giving some guy some money. Let me tell you something, oh well, I guess I’m starting to preach a little and I don’t want to do that. Nobody listens to sermons anyway and that’s not what I’m trying to do. I guess I’m being a little bit of an over protective dad. I will say that you should do research before you make it completely legal.

The little research that has been done says that 10 percent of people that try endo will become addicted. That’s 1 out of every 10, really, that’s easy math. That’s 10 out of every hundred, that’s 100 out of 1,000, 1,000 out of 10,000. and so on. They expect this to be a multi billion dollar industry, that’s great, new taxes to pay for recovery. Multi billion assumes that maybe 10 million people will relish in the glow of bong by the bonfire. Well that’s a million addicts. That’s a conservative, not the political kind but the measurement kind, estimate. That’s a sh!t load of hippie lettuce. Those addicts, after they spent their life savings, because that’s exactly what addicts do, will then resort to other methods to make money for their habit as some people with addictions like drinking and gambling will do. They will also go to their neighborhood supplier, you know the guy that you are trying to replace because he isn’t giving Uncle Sam his share, making his/her spliff cheaper. I’m painting a picture here for you or at least I’m trying. Not convinced yet.

The sticky icky also makes you dumber, according to those limited research facts, that’s why I don’t take it or, god bless, I’ll never find my way home. These effects won’t be seen right away, sort of like climate change. It will take time before they are noticeable and like cigarettes and alcohol, by then it will be impossible to revert back to the good old days when you did it 

when the authorities weren’t looking and you got a little paranoid about it. Why is that good, because when things are illegal, people tend to stay away from it. When things are legal, no matter what the harm, people will use it, it will expand. The questions you have to ask are is it worth it? Is it worth it to make something legal and expand its use? Is it worth it to accept campaign contributions by lobbyists of the MATF corporations so they can count on your support to make it legal? Is it worth it to sell your soul and dignity for money? Is it worth it to promote a substance that has no benefits for recreational use? Is it worth it? I don’t know, really, I’m asking. It may be or it may not be. The one thing we know is that we don’t know but I don’t think we should find out. I’m all for not making it easier for recreational use and all for keeping it for medicinal use. If I have cancer than who gives a crap about the THC levels in my system. I say you should keep it as difficult as possible.

For those proponents of making it legal that say everyone smokes it anyway, I say everyone that you are with smokes it anyway because hardly anyone I was with smoked it. They are making those blanket statements that have no merit. Saying everyone does it is exactly what they say when they first try to get you to use it. Sound familiar, “here, try it, everyone does it.” That person is known as an enabler, a predator of sorts. He/she doesn’t want to do it alone so they say “everyone does it”. They are also try to excuse their behavior for doing it by saying “everyone does it”. It’s like the phrase in a movie that you hear right before you become the victim of that movie. Not everyone does it, not everyone wants to. I know I sound like a fuddy duddy, keeping sh!t PG, so fuddy duddy is the recommended acceptable terminology for the time being and b!tch isn’t, but I like visiting my local drug dealer, he/she is a nice person. Let them keep their jobs, if you pass this law for rec use, he’s just going to get richer and then he’s going to move to a classier neighborhood and then we’ll never hang out. Just kidding, I don’t use, can’t afford it. Wouldn’t if I could, I have a kid, you know how expensive they are? Love my little man, wouldn’t want him to see me doing anything like that. 100, 50 maybe 30 years from now, that tax revenue and lobbyist money is not going to be worth it. Don’t let me be right and make me put your picture up here as a supporter of the left handed cigarette. Just keep the status quo, you know, the guy at the corner watching out for the police while the guys on the stoop shake your hand and make the transfer or that friend that delivers in his backpack to parties and gives the same kush with different names so he can charge more, you’re not fooling anyone pal, I’ll take the Mango Mellow please or, if you’re rich enough, you just serve it on a platter at a party. But for God’s sakes, keep it illicit and dirty, don’t put a tuxedo on a tweed and pass it as the next best thing since the previous best thing.

IF they do pass legislation legalizing Cannabis, then I’m going to invest in Wise potato chips and twinkies, I’m not for rec use but I’m no dummy, I’m opening up a 24 hour 7/11. I’ll leave you with this thought, don’t you wish cigarettes and alcohol were always illegal and we can have all, or at least most, of those loved ones back that lost their lives to that stuff. Love you pops….. no, he’s still alive but not in the best condition as he suffers from COPD and has spots on his lungs.

Let me start by saying that Mary Jane is not an illegal alien or a prostitute. A lot of people in this era might not know that Mary Jane actually refers to or is a pseudonym for cannabis or, best known as, marijuana. The popular narcotic goes by several noms de plume like bammer, bubonic chronic, endo, giggle stick and hydro. I used to know it by weed, blunts, chiba (pronouced cheeba), cheeba, grass, roach and the wacky tobaccy.

In an article in Vox.com written by German Lopez titled “Marijuana Legalization is Already Making Mexican Drug Cartels Poorer”, that is some title, I guess you really don’t need an article with a title that long, it pretty much states everything, nevertheless German gives reasons for legalization. German, I’m just guessing by reading the article, is a fan of the ganja. German doesn’t specifically state this in his story so it’s just an educated guess on my part.

German advocates the legalization of BC bud by pointing out that it has reduced the amount of the cartel’s drug export revenue as much as 30% according to the estimates of the Mexican Institute of Competitiveness, I can write the word but I can barely say it, competitiveness. I’m guessing the institute measures the competitiveness of the drug cartels against

each other? I can’t see that any estimate for an illegal activity can be accurately measured unless it has hard results, like death. Now, if you died every time you smoked a joint, then we can count the bodies. But since most people laugh or eat cheeseburgers when they smoke bud, we would have to measure the amount of laughter that we normally hear to the excess laughter and then ask McDonalds to show us if their was an uptick in cheeseburger consumption. In other words, it’s impossible to know. Basically, this is an estimate that can be off by as much as 30%. There is no way of really telling if the legalization of medical marijuana has even put a dent in the drug trade. I could go ask Chapo Guzman “how’s business” but being that he is currently on the lam, he would most likely refuse to answer, politely anyway. I imagine it would be a more “meet my little friend” kind of encounter.

In his article German also argues the point that legalization is also

reducing drug cartel’s power around the world. The reasoning behind that statement is if there is no demand then there is no money for the supply, then there is no supply. That’s economics 101 at the school for the way less gifted. Cutting Mexican dirt weed by 30%, if true, wouldn’t have the hard core consequences necessary to stop the trade and what will happen is they will come up with a form of marijuana, maybe laced with other more addicting additives that the legalization effort will not be able to mimic and get the youth of today and the bum of tomorrow hooked. The people in charge of these cartels might be hardened criminals without morals or enough intelligence to operate a remote control, just kidding mister cartel leader murderer sir, but they have more money then they declared on

their taxes and use it to hire those people that know how to tweek kush so it will be KUSH or kush 2.0.

There’s other reasons why legalization, not medical which is already in place, but full blown legalization would not work. Money. Legal combustible herbage would be taxed at a rate similar to tobacco products because they have to make enough to offset the upcoming wave of medical problems. Unlike tobacco products, which should also be outlawed, not my cuban cigars but the other stuff, 420 ( a real pseudonym for cannabis) has hallucinogenic affects and mind altering ability due to the THC, tetrahydrocannabinol, (say that three times fast, I can’t even say it one time right), compound found in crippy. This will lead to more DWI’s and loud noise complaints about people laughing uncontrollably. It will though create a stock market increase in businesses such as Taco Bell and Burger King who will see their stocks rise due to a phenomenon called the munchies, a real thing, or at least that’s what I’ve been told. Look for Warren Buffet to do a hostile takeover of Wendy’s if this law passes. Other businesses that will boom will be Law Enforcement and hospitals. More manpower will be needed for both industries. Another added tax for reefer.

According to drugabuse.gov, the prolonged use of herbal refreshment will decrease your IQ by a whopping, get it like whopper, 8 points, so if you were already borderline, man, you just crossed over to stupid in a couple of puffs. Other areas of trouble are are breathing problems, tachycardia with an increased risk of a heart attack, and like any other inhaled substances, the fetal problems if you decide to get high while pregnant. Other problems from prolonged use of hooter are temporary hallucinations

(which might be cool if your not in a penthouse), temporary paranoia (which is really only cool in other people) and if you are already suffering from a mental disease, like crazy, because then you are  going to be CRAZY or crazy 2.0.  It will make your depression depressed (mainly because you ran out of munchies), give you anxiety and suicidal ideations. Most of these last symptoms in teens, probably because they ran out of munchies. It also makes you lazy, see better, as it helps glaucoma while being lazy, and 9% of the population will get addicted. Might Mez is also considered a gateway drug according to the National Institute of Health, a government website. For more information on how that is please click on the link attached but come back and finish reading my article. As my grandmother would say to my uncle “you lazy good for nothing moron”. Just to clear things up, while lazy and moron have been established with the use of chronic, good for nothing is just a theory, except with these two ladies pictured.

The decision to make fatty boom blatty fully legal is not mine to make, solely. These decisions are left up to your State, who then put the proposal on a ballot and call it something cool like proposition 19.  Who wouldn’t vote for proposition 19? The people that lobby for the proposition usually have some kind of risk reward factor. They are probably the company who will build those fancy new buildings that house the hog leg or the farms that grow it. Like all businesses that once were illegal and then became legal, those parent companies probably had something to do with the illegal portion of it before. Just ask the Kennedys, whose rumored beginnings as bootleggers led to John being President of the United States. Ultimately, though, after a bombardment of ads and famous people endorsing the thai stick, you have to make the decision for the future of your children. And if it passes, full blown legalization, I can’t wait to tell my son about the place next door that sells sticky icky icky like cigarettes from a vending machine. To be fair, I never tried pakaloco, or any illegal narcotic, in my life, but I talked to people that have and they all say the same thing, that they don’t want their kids doing it. Their actual exact words, more often than not, were, “Are you f*cking nuts!, Hell no”. So when making the decision on whether you want to legalize any narcotic outright, look at your kid and say “I’m going to f*ck up your life” that’s if you are voting yes. But that’s just my opinion.

-M. Lam-Paz

EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND DETAIL. NOT FOR MINORS READING.

How to start this topic? I guess I’ll start with my experience with the dreaded “a” word. When I was 17, I was dating this beautiful, at least to me, Peruvian American woman, she was a year younger, and we had a scintillating 3 year relationship full of teenage drama and emotional roller coaster rides and  lots of sex. Janina, I’ll just use her first name to protect her identity, was my first love and my first lover. I met her at an Antioch, a religious retreat, when I was 16. We exchanged numbers and started a slow moving relationship that lasted through several small break-ups and one very scary moment. In the summer of 1988 or was it 89, in the summer of a long time ago, I sat with Janina, at her house, at the kitchen table. She had called me earlier, on a landline, cellphones back then were too expensive and texting was putting a note on a rock and throwing it through a window, and had stated that she needed to talk to me. She told me that she thought she was pregnant and that she was late. My heart started to beat fast and I stupidly said “but how” the first thing that came out. She just looked at me like I was a buffoon, “what do you mean how, you weren’t complaining while you were doing it” she raised her voice. Oh yeah. I was thinking to myself, this can’t be, I have so many things to do. I have to go to college, I have to get a job, I have to climb Mt. Everest. That’s it, I’ll climb Mt. Everest, she can’t find me there. “How about an abortion?” I asked her. I really did not want to be a dad. I was nervous and it was the first thing I thought of, after the Mt. Everest idea, that is. Which if you think about it….. no, that was a stupid idea. She said she didn’t know what she wanted to do, her first thought was to go live with an aunt in Florida, “an Aunt in Florida?”

We decided that we were going to go to Planned Parenthood to get a pregnancy test. She was old enough where she didn’t need her parent’s consent. After about a day of wondering, I got hold of a car and I drove her to Planned Parenthood where she entered and got a pregnancy test. I prayed that day. It might have been my most religious day of my life. Our father who ate in heaven, hollow be thy tree, thy kingdom come , so did I and that’s why I am in so much trouble. Please help. Amen. I waited in the car until she was done. She came out of Planned Parenthood and got in the car that I “borrowed” from my parents. She looked at me and my heart sunk, “pregnant aren’t you, shit, I knew it”. She said “No, I’m not”. My memory is fuzzy about what happened next. All I know is that the sun was brighter, the day was more beautiful, life was amazing, there was a God, for right now, and he answered my beautiful prayer. The problem with me is that I was young and did not know how to handle that situation. Time would take care of that problem.

Eighteen years later, in Elizabeth, N.J., the same exact thing happened. This time God must have had better things to do, because I used the same exact prayer that I did back than. Different woman, different result. Cata, abbreviated first name, told me and I said “Abortion?” and she gave me a look that would freeze the national debt and turn it backwards “or whatever you want”, I continued, ” I support you in whatever decision you make.” Different reaction. Time.

I Think I got more reliant on prayer then I did safe sex, but that is one heck of a prayer, if I do say so myself. Nine months later, I’m  a PROUD dad of a bouncing little person and I couldn’t be happier. The most AMAZING thing that happened to me in my life and one of the few things I would risk my life for without thinking twice. Truly a miracle.

So why are so many people against abortion? I was all for it until my child was born and then I was confused. At that time though, I was financially sound and had a really good job, that paid very well. I could afford the miracle, or surprise, better yet a Miracle Surprise. I was and still am extremely happy that Cata was the mother and was against having an abortion. But not everyone is or was as lucky as me, back then.

Money is a serious issue when thinking about having a child. Children are expensive. They want food and clothes and do this horrible noise when you don’t give them that stuff. And they grow!! So the clothes you just bought them, none are any good. Money down the proverbial drain. And you can’t just stretch the clothes to make them bigger, no, they rip. What a money maker for a business.

Then there is housing. You have to live somewhere. You could live with your mother and father but then you have grandma knows best situations which could be tricky. No, you really need your own place for your wife to yell at you for watching football while the little one is learning to walk and break lamps. And when you high five them for their achievement, there’s mom with her hands at her waist “Turn that TV off”, I swore that was my name.

Then there is doctor bills. Good jobs have sucky insurance, so sucky jobs have nothing. You spend and spend and spend. So why abortions you ask? Sometimes people are overwhelmed or not ready for the responsibility of being a parent. Then you have people calling other people that are on public assistance, deadbeats and parasites. So they say, I’m not going to be one, I have to abort, then those same people are at the abortion clinics calling you a murderer. You see the double edged sword of making people feel like shit. You chastise them for one thing and when they try to correct it, they chastise you for the other. You can’t win with some people. I call those people, People in dear need of a blow job. Or a good lay, I don’t want to gender discriminate. Or maybe a hot enema, you see, that’s gender neutral.

Pregnancies happen, even if you use protection. The only real protection from getting pregnant is abstinence. Let’s face it, that isn’t going to happen very often. You can try to teach your kids abstinence but they are going to wonder why and go do it. It’s hard decisions. You have to teach them safe sex, trust me on that one.

So, are you? A murderer? I have been lucky in my life to not ever have had to find out what it feels like to have had a girlfriend or wife who had an abortion, that was pregnant with my kid anyway. I’m telling you that prayer is 99% effective.

The definition of murder is Murder occurs when one human being unlawfully kills another human being. See Homicide. The precise legal definition of murder varies by jurisdiction. Most states distinguish between different degrees of murder. Some other states base their murder laws on the Model Penal Code.

That did nothing to help me decide. When are we human beings? Is it at birth or conception or sometime in between? Some people say when the heart starts to beat and others say when you can live outside the womb. I say I’m not in the position to decide, Thank God, again. But I do have an opinion. I am a christian, if I am any religion. And the good book says judge not unless ye be judged or judge not unless you are a judge and there is a jury present or just stop judging people. If you have to make a decision of aborting because your situation is that you have no support, no money and that the child would be lost in a state institution and you would rather it be in heaven, believe me that might not be a bad choice. And if you decide to abort, then I say to you that God will judge you at the pearly gates and you will answer for what you have done, but I’m not going to judge you, neither here or ever, because I’m not him and it’s your choice.

And I’m sure you will go through your own personal hell after having your first kid and thinking back to the last abortion, hopefully only one. I strongly believe that God is pro choice because he wants to be the one to send you where you need to go and also because he gave it to us, choice, the only animal alive to have that power. That’s if you believe in creation and not in evolution. I am 50/ 50 when it comes to religion, and just in case I am wrong, I can show God this article as proof, if it ever comes to that. You see God, I believed in you, half of the time.

Now if you thought God is going to send you to heaven after you read that last paragraph, then good for you, I hear God is forgiving if nothing else, but if you thought hell, then you are feeling guilty and there is really nothing left for me to do to you that you aren’t doing to yourself.

My thought is that anyone thinking about an abortion should have a class before aborting, just non-medical emergency abortions, and be forced to volunteer at a pediatric clinic, then if you still want to abort, it is your choice. It actually may be the more humane thing in certain situations, I really don’t know.

I’m calling my child right now and telling him/her that I love him/her, my child is just one gender, just in case you are worried with my statement. I just don’t want you to know which one, that’s sexist.