Remember these signs. Had to have a shirt and shoes. The new one is going to read shirt and shoes and mask but still no mention of pants. I guess those are still optional.

I don’t like following trends so I went to a hypnotist so I can start smoking.

I used own a cafe and had a customer that would come in and ask for free stuff, I would tell him that everything is free tomorrow and was free yesterday but today, everything was full price, so he bought a coffee and said he would come back tomorrow. The next day he came by and asked is everything still free today, and I told him no, that’s tomorrow and yesterday, today it’s full price. He just looked at me and said I was here yesterday. No you were here today. He gave me a stare, bought a coffee and left. He came the next day, came up to me and said… yesterday, you told me everything is free today. I told him no, I said everything is free tomorrow and yesterday, and that was our policy, tomorrow and yesterday is always free for everyone but today, you pay full price.

I once got a valentine card from an ex-girlfriend that read “Life is temporary, Death is forever” We were split up, chances of reconciliation were “probably shouldn’t try”.