This might be very controversial but my view on racism is that some people don’t like other people because of the amount of sunburn they can or can’t get. That’s what it boils down to. That is the only difference. I guess if we all could receive the same amount of sunburn, we would get along………… or find something else to hate each other for. This is meant to be humorous and to show how silly the concept of racism is. So oddly enough. it’s the Sun’s fault, racism. When that mother fucker blows up, racism will end.
Again, this is meant to be humorous and make you think. You know what comedians are, more effective philosophy teachers. Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Dave Chappelle, The best Philosophy teachers of all time.
“I once joined a hate group, we hated stupid, there was a lot of infighting”
7+ magnitude Earthquakes, super hurricanes, giant tornadoes, deadly viruses, mass protests, shop rite ran out of honey nut cheerios, it’s the end of times. Ah, found the cheerios, it’s all good.
Can’t believe we’re having this conversation again. Kneeling. I wonder if when these people go to church and the priest, pastor, rabbi’s, iman’s and all other religious leaders ask you to kneel before God, do you tell them “fuck you, I’m not disrespecting God” or do you just take a knee.
I’m of the belief that kneeling is not disrespectful but symbolic. Staying seated so you don’t spill your beer might be disrespectful, depends on the beer I guess. Budweiser you better stand up, Corona, you might get away with it.
Remember these signs. Had to have a shirt and shoes. The new one is going to read shirt and shoes and mask but still no mention of pants. I guess those are still optional.
I don’t like following trends so I went to a hypnotist so I can start smoking.
I used own a cafe and had a customer that would come in and ask for free stuff, I would tell him that everything is free tomorrow and was free yesterday but today, everything was full price, so he bought a coffee and said he would come back tomorrow. The next day he came by and asked is everything still free today, and I told him no, that’s tomorrow and yesterday, today it’s full price. He just looked at me and said I was here yesterday. No you were here today. He gave me a stare, bought a coffee and left. He came the next day, came up to me and said… yesterday, you told me everything is free today. I told him no, I said everything is free tomorrow and yesterday, and that was our policy, tomorrow and yesterday is always free for everyone but today, you pay full price.
I once got a valentine card from an ex-girlfriend that read “Life is temporary, Death is forever” We were split up, chances of reconciliation were “probably shouldn’t try”.
Several months into the pandemic and scientists come out with alcohol and sunlight. So what they’re saying is become an alcoholic and sleep in a tanning bed. This might hurt recovery a little bit. Did they test nicotine and heroin yet to see if it kills the virus. Maybe we can restart the tide pod challenge.
All kidding aside, I appreciate their efforts but we can still poke a little fun at them. Even the President made light of their recommendations.
But just in case, I am ordering my Everclear and seeing if I fit in my microwave.
(This is satire and don’t drink clorox as a remedy, it might not kill the virus but it will definitely kill you and then you are going to go to the afterlife and get everyone else infected) 😉 ……..
I respect all Hispanic mothers because I have one and I love her and so does my son but also because that chancla would go Matrix and bend corners and smack me upside the head when I didn’t. Feliz Cumpleanos mama…. Don’t forget to kiss your mom on her birthday to show her how much you respect women.