Someone called me a coward because I wouldn’t fight someone that disparaged me and/or my family

My response was simple, why should I get my ass kicked today when I could NOT get my ass kicked today.

I hate the optometrist. He caused my divorce. He corrected my wife’s myopia.

The Devil is walking down this winding country road when he runs into a handbasket

Devil: Hey, what are you doing here?

Handbasket: Just hanging out

Devil: You want to catch a Netflix movie with me

Handbasket: Sure

Devil: What do you have in the there

Handbasket: The USA

Devil: I see

Handbasket: Where are we going to watch the movie at?

Devil: My place

Hell in a handbasket……..

To go to hell in a handbasket means to go to one’s doom, to deteriorate quickly, to proceed on a course to disaster. The phrase go to hell in a handbasket is an American phrase which came into general use during the American Civil War, though its popularity has spread into other countries. Even though, America still leads all other nations on somehow trying to bring the adage to fruition.

The first line of Revelations has come true:

“And sayeth the Lord, Two Dem Senators will be elected in the State of Georgia;

People in L.A. will disputeth the science of vaccines as demon work and protesteth”

The only good thing about this year was its hindsight.

Religion, for those who believe, is like communism except the opposite. It’s one guy that has all the answers but lets the clueless make all the wrong choices after he explains them. So.. like democracy.

• 

Me and my son, who was 7 at the time, were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. He says “I’m handsome” as he eats his scrambled eggs and I ask him “how do you know?”. He says “mom told me”. I said “well, you do look exactly like me”. He just frowns and says “ah man” a little upset. I ask him “what’s wrong”. He says “Mom tells me I’m handsome and you tell me I’m not.” I bought him a pack of chips ahoy cookies. It was the worst burn I ever got in my life. I laughed for like an hour.

In breaking news, they are building 30 foot walls around voting centers. Further news has determined that Hispanics are voting with ease.

• 

I get a phone call and the guy says “a mouth is a mouth”, he was saying that mouths were gender neutral. I disagreed with him but in these days , gender identity seems to be a problematic argument so I just told him “I don’t see it that way but you can. I’m sure it makes for fun barbecues when you’re playing spin the bottle”.

These phone anecdotes are pretty much true and I share them prior to them being distorted as to who said what. Still don’t know exactly why this same person keeps asking me these questions.

Or maybe he was just saying I got a pertty mouth……

I was reading that African Americans are 2.1 times more likely to contract COVID-19 and that Hispanics are 1.1 times more likely to contract the disease than non-Hispanic white Americans. I made the comment that I found it odd that Hispanics rates were that high given the reasoning for the high rates. It was due to poor diet and lack of physical exercise. My thought was since Hispanics are essentially poorer(less steaks more chicken and beans), in general, and work the harder more demanding jobs i.e construction and farm labor, that the rates would be lower than everyone else but before I could respond my neighbor from across the street chimes in and says because we are always running from the police. Normally I would find a dig like that funny but given that he was completely serious, I had to stop laughing and say “Oh, you’re serious” and then point to the fact that Hispanics are the least likely to commit a crime of any nationality according to the CDC and FBI statistics, at least major crimes, but so as not to hurt his feelings I did tell him that we are number 1 on illegal immigration, so as not to bring him down too much and give him a reason to live.