In a story by some scientific newspaper outlet media internet post thingamajig, a reputable entity, they have said that the new James Webb is throwing the Big Bang theory into disarray due to information that doesn’t compute with the rational basis for the theory to be upheld. They are discovering that in galaxies far far far away… there isn’t the disorder that they expected and they couldn’t locate a chewbacca. The reasoning for this is because the Hubble Telescope could not accurately report older colder galaxies like the James Webb Telescope could and would only zero in on the younger hot ones. The prevailing theory is that the James Webb was made by men and women while the Hubble telescope had only men building it, which then stands to reason that Hubble would ignore the older colder stars and just stare at the younger hot ones.

Anyone ever get worried when watching some of these people on TV and they start with “Truth be told” or something similar, like they would need a epi-pen near them or they would go into anaphylactic shock when they say the word truth….

The definition of financial literacy – The more money you have the better your lawyer can interpret the constitution.

Example – Wall street lawyers negotiate golden parachutes while on TARP even though they almost sunk the whole economy

The homeless guy gets 10 days for vagrancy (after he had to default on his home due to wall street) because his lawyer…. what lawyer???

I think new realities need new greeting cards, you have to be an entrepreneur ….

Well, there goes my Happy Abortion cards idea. Thanks a ton Supreme Court.

My other card idea didn’t quite pan out either, for agnostics, Happy Faithless Day. Thought I would have made a tithey amount on that one, it’s pretty much every day.

I’m thinking my new one might work, a condolence card… Sorry to hear about the mass shooting… I might make a killing on that one. That seems to be pretty much everyday as well….

If not, I have other ideas… climate change… I hear it’s hot where you’re at… that should be a scorcher

homeless… wanted to send this card but didn’t have an address for you

poverty…. Thought of you in this occasion.. (with a picture of an empty plate and an I.O.U. attached, postage due, of course)

inflation…. Wanted to wish you a happy birthay, happy graduation, happy wedding, happy anniversary, merry christmas, happy new year and sorry to hear that you passed… all in one card

Controversial controversial controversial controversial poooooop……

What do people do when they marry a person that legally changed their full name to a single name? Do they they just drop their last name? Do they hyphenate with a blank in the middle? Do they get to choose a number for a last name like 7? Do they use the other person’s first name as their last name?

I’m a product of an inner city school system but tried my best to reach average intelligence, most say you almost did it, so it should be of no surprise when I was an art gallery and I didn’t understand the motif of the art and it looked like a person with a blindfold threw up on the canvas that someone called me a Philistine…… I looked around and said “No, I’m Hispanic, maybe that guy, he looks middle eastern”.

Didn’t find out later that it was an insult. I stand by my criticism, it was called the vomit artist or Jackson Pollock, one of the two. I didn’t understand it, but I’ve seen it before, when my son decided that coloring inside the lines was for losers.

I get a text that asked “hey, is this your number”

I respond “No”

They respond “alright, sorry to bother you”

(it was actually the other way around but it’s funnier that way)

I told my sister that I had the ability to see the future. She said really, tell me something. I told her that a week from now, it will be Monday again. That led to her revelation that I was the hispanic Nostradamus…. Nuestrodumbass.

I have been receiving many suggestions as to what I should do next, most of them concern my untimely demise by self actualization. I decided to chronicle these suggestions in what I am going to call my kick the bucket list:

1. Hang yourself (an oldy but a goody)
2. Shoot yourself (really messy for my beneficiaries to then clean up)
3. Eat rat poison (lol, painful)
4. Drink a bleach cocktail (Didn’t know how much vermouth to add so I decided against it)
5. Jump off of my roof (I live in a ranch style home with 9 foot ceilings, probably only sprain an ankle)
6. Shove my head up my ass and die (if it were possible, that would be a shitty way to die, the smell alone would make me vomit)
7. slit my wrists (again the clean up afterwards)
8. Head on collision with a dump truck (traffic would be a mess)
9. One kind hearted person suggested that I just die of old age, then added or you can drown yourself, whichever I prefer.

People are great….