Category: Anecdotes

A(sick)necdoTe!

Random guy says:

If I can’t have the dad “let me have their (minor) kid”

LOL… hahhahahaha… holy jesus…

The US going all Alabama/Olive Garden … 😉

To put this remark into perspective

“According to the FBI, in 2020 there were 365,348 NCIC entries for missing children“

In more related news….

“JonBenet Ramsey killing: 25 years after her killing, investigators have tested almost 1,000 DNA samples” as reported by CNN

I think if you hold a position of trust, that’s all law enforcement both Federal and State and any paid informant, that your DNA should be on file. Joseph DeAngelo, the “Night Stalker”, a police officer, was one of the most notorious rapists in the history of this country and if he had is DNA on file he would have been caught. I think it’s something that should be done right away for former /retired and present LEO’s.

aNECKdote

I have been receiving many suggestions as to what I should do next, most of them concern my untimely demise by self actualization. I decided to chronicle these suggestions in what I am going to call my kick the bucket list:

  1. Hang yourself (an oldy but a goody)
  2. Shoot yourself (really messy for my beneficiaries to then clean up)
  3. Eat rat poison (lol, painful)
  4. Drink a bleach cocktail (Didn’t know how much vermouth to add so I decided against it)
  5. Jump off of my roof (I live in a ranch style home with 9 foot ceilings, probably only sprain an ankle)
  6. Shove my head up my ass and die (if it were possible, that would be a shitty way to die, the smell alone would make me vomit)
  7. slit my wrists (again the clean up afterwards)
  8. Head on collision with a dump truck (traffic would be a mess)
  9. One kind hearted person suggested that I just die of old age, then added or you can drown yourself, whichever I prefer.

People are great….

Anecdote – a short account of a particular incident or event, especially of an interesting or amusing nature. Some might find this one a little offensive and I completely apologize because that is not the intention.

The case of the worst cereal killer has been solved. After a few misteps we finally fingered the suspect and affected an arrest. Our first suspect proved to be false rumors as Count Chocula was blamed by Reese’s Puffs. But then BLM stepped in and accused the investigators of profiling, just to later find out that Reese’s just wanted to have bigger part of the market. Froot Loops came up but the LGBTQIAtoZ community, (I have no idea what half those initials mean but there is no S), was ready and quickly shut that down. We started to look at Lucky Charms and where did he exactly get that pot of gold but oddly enough strippers and sex workers rallied around the green man and his prodigious…… pot of gold. Frankenberry was sought after he disappeared but a lot like Republicans that refuse to vaccinate, he is no longer in production and has died off. Cap’n Crunch became of particular interest only to find out he was out to sea with Froot Loops, we didn’t inquire any further. Toops Dulce de Leche was probed but the timeline didn’t work because he was deported after serving 3 tours in Afghanistan for trying to get some free Lucky Charms and being charged for shoplifting and couldn’t have done it. Honeycomb and Honey Nut Cheerios were looked at but we found out that they were testifying in congress that day about the destruction of honey trees, to which Democrats dressed up in lumber jack suits and started to do a traditional buzz dance and gave 50 billion dollars to save those trees, just to later find out that there is no such thing as a honey tree. Honeycomb and Honey Nut spent all that money on the Lucky Charms workers who later complained about the little pricks of their stingers. In the end it was Tony the Tiger who did it and when asked why he did it, he stated “I’m a fucking Tiger”.

Again I apologize if anyone was offended and if you leave a comment about why I will rectify the situation immediately by blocking you from my site. Sorry.

Ane::/c~!D/ot(e)

The Devil is walking down this winding country road when he runs into a handbasket

Devil: Hey, what are you doing here?

Handbasket: Just hanging out

Devil: You want to catch a Netflix movie with me

Handbasket: Sure

Devil: What do you have in the there

Handbasket: The USA

Devil: I see

Handbasket: Where are we going to watch the movie at?

Devil: My place

Hell in a handbasket……..

To go to hell in a handbasket means to go to one’s doom, to deteriorate quickly, to proceed on a course to disaster. The phrase go to hell in a handbasket is an American phrase which came into general use during the American Civil War, though its popularity has spread into other countries. Even though, America still leads all other nations on somehow trying to bring the adage to fruition.

Anec DOPE!

The first line of Revelations has come true:

“And sayeth the Lord, Two Dem Senators will be elected in the State of Georgia;

People in L.A. will disputeth the science of vaccines as demon work and protesteth”