How not to get a job:

Ever had your parents fix up an interview for you in a job that you just didn’t want, follow these steps:

Interviewer: Your resume says that you don’t have much experience

You: It talks to you too. It told me to park my car in the lobby, but I told it nahhhh. I’ll wait until I get hired to claim that spot.

(This anecdote is for humor purposes only, my resume doesn’t talk to me, it just reminds me how pathetic I am, so I refuse to talk to it (hahahah Joke)).