SOTU

 

LOL…. You have to hand it to both sides. The President went sans handshake (with the coronavirus out there, I’m sure it was just precautionary) and the Speaker went paper shredder (the Speaker is all about recycling). It’s good to see that they were being both medically and environmentally conscientious or is it contentious. I get those two mixed up.

Anecdote: VOTING APP

voting app

I tried the voting app and when I made my choice it told me no. So I tried my second choice it said are you insane. I then put no one and it said, I’ll vote for you, I’m a smart phone, do they call you smart Manny, didn’t think so.

Voting App, vote for who you want, it will make it’s own choice.

(this is a joke and just a parody, not meant to be true)

I would be wary of using any app to vote, it might work this year but next time our Demo candidate will be Vladimir Putin.

IOWA POLLS ARE HERE AND I’M PUTTING WHO I THINK IS THE BEST CANDIDATE FOR THE DEMOS

klobuchar

I have my reasons and I’ll explain some….

If I were to tell you that two people got into a fight outside a bar, what is your first thought, two dudes got into a fight. That’s the way it is. No offense to my brethren but we had it so good for so long and women had to struggle for everything for such a long time that evolution has made them the savvier, smarter ones. We lock ourselves out of our house, guys try kicking down the door, women call a locksmith. We get lost, dudes say I’ll find it, women use google maps (they ask for help). We can’t open a pickle jar, guys hanker down and use all there might even if it means we don’t eat because there is no fucking way this pickle jar is going to withstand my awesomeness until we decide its defective and throw it away and go buy another, women use a butter knife to break the vacuum seal and open the jar. This is the evolutionary process. Men haven’t really evoluted (not sure that’s a word but I’m a dude so we’ll make it one now) because we have been the dominant ones for so long, women have adapted and overcome their hindrances which were mostly dudes not opening pickle jars (a metaphor) to become the better adapted beings. For these silly reasons, which are actually real reasons when put into perspective, I’m voting for a female in the Demo primaries and then decide later who to vote for in the general election. Of the two women, Klobuchar is the one that can win it all and make the best President, But, I have said this before, my ESP without the N was right then, I believe it to be right now. The reason for me is that Klobuchar is hard to rattle and the election are going to be all out verbal kung fu and I think Warren can be put on her heels and made to go on the defensive, while Klobuchar could definitely deliver.

aNECDOTE!

 

My Colombian girlfriend’s reaction after she introduces me to her family. Her mother and 3 sisters. She would later ask me who I thought was the prettiest. I didn’t like lying to her so I just asked bluntly, do I have to pick you?

I ended up telling her that I really couldn’t say because they looked so much alike they could be sisters. I got the same response. #Crazy chiquita banana.

ANEcDoTE!

statue of liberty

Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

New Slogan:

Give me your rested, your rich, your singularly wealthy yearning to spend their money, the Gucci dressed of your affluent yacht ports. Send these, multi home owners, bathed in lavender to me, I lift my toll gates beside the golden door paid by them.

If you didn’t want people that were going to be on public assistance, just make it illegal to be on public assistance while you are on LAPR status, don’t make it illegal to be poor. It was called the American Dream for a reason. The hardest working people are the people that have to work. Who the hell is going to fight our wars and then get deported if everyone allowed in is rich? I would say that the brightest innovators come from modest means and become who they are out of necessity and drive, what you are doing is stifling the next Thomas Edison, Tesla, Steve Jobs. I think it’s a big mistake. No one that came to this country came because they were rich, they came because they saw an opportunity to be better. And whatever crystal ball (obviously it has to be crystal, if it were just glass it wouldn’t be allowed in) you have that can see if someone will be a burden in the future must also give you the powerball numbers, so maybe you can let me borrow it.?

#disappointed

ANEcDOTE!

rice and beans

My Colombian girlfriend, whose turn it was to go get breakfast, in an astonishing feat, used her menstrual cycle to have me get her breakfast. She started to moan and said that she was having cramps and laid her head down on the pillow. I asked if I could do anything for her and she said usually Motrin works and that she ran out. I told her that I would go get her some. She said she can’t take the the Motrin without food, it upsets her stomach. I asked her if she wanted some food, she simply nodded and muttered “mmhhmm”. I said the usual, she gave me the sad eyes and muttered “mmhhmm”. I went out got everything and came back. We sat down and ate and talked about worldly things like why dixie cups were so flimsy. Afterwards she started to kiss me and take my shirt off when I stopped her and asked “aren’t you on your period”….. she said no. I said you complained about cramps. She said “yeah, hunger cramps”. I asked why she needed the Motrin, she said ran out and that her period was due in a week. Her motto was you have to  think ahead, that she didn’t know if we would be together in a week. What did she mean by that?

#ATS (sort of)

ANECDote!

shrek and fiona

My Colombian girlfriend wakes up and decides to give me a pet name, she says “go get breakfast Shrek”, I said “who”, she says “Shrek”. I tell her if I’m Shrek that makes you Fiona,  she says, in her Colombian accent “noooo”, I told her yeah, Shrek’s girlfriend was Fiona, so you’re Fiona. She says “When she’s a Princess”… I just look at her and tilt my head a little and said “ehhh”…. I got breakfast that whole week.

#ATS