“A baby is the smartest person in the world”

-A baby craps on himself and a beautiful woman makes funny noises and funny faces as she wipes his behind

-You crap on yourself and you are just an idiot that crapped on himself

– A baby pees on himself and he gets a smile  from a beautiful woman with a knowing wink

-You pee on yourself and you have to sleep in the tub and get yelled at by a beautiful woman for drinking all the whiskey

-A baby sleeps all day and a beautiful woman says how adorable

-You sleep all day and a beautiful woman tosses cold water on you and calls you a bum

-A baby starts crying and he gets a boob in the mouth

-You start crying and your best friend gets her boob in his mouth