Embarrassment is personified by the position you hold, slipping and falling is way funnier when you are famous.

I once worked up the courage to go speak to a woman at a coffee shop and as I was approaching she got up with her stuff and said “I love the way you speak” I said “I didn’t say anything” she said “Exactly” and gathered her stuff and left.

A great man with great vision and in defense of our blog we are neither sincere nor conscientious.

 

My ex-wife’s interpretation of   is that everything equals master card…. squared, mine is Eventually money ceases, unfortunately, squared.

Dedicated to my son who knows the woman of which I speak, thanks for the idea and motivation kiddo.

 

 

I once walked up to a woman and said “hi” and she looked right at me pulled back and said “ohhh, you scared me”. “Wow”, I said, “did I startle you?” she said “No.”

“Why is that you fall in love? you fall and break a hip, you fall and you can’t get up, you fall from grace, now I have to fall in love? Sounds like a warning.”

 

The law of economics, supply and demand, states that where there is an abundance the profit should be small, I ask then, why do professional athletes get paid so much and garbage men so little. The last time I checked, there were many people willing to be professional athletes and hardly anyone willing to clean shit off of the streets. But everyone needs the shit cleaned off of the streets and no one needs to see a ball flying in the air.

 

“The spice of life is cumin, I can’t tell which one is cumin, can you?”

 

 

It is my true belief that the person that decided to name the bone at the end of the spine a coccyx was thinking something completely different.

 

 

You ever touch your wife in the lower back, feel the sexy curve of her spine where it meets her buttocks and massage it just to have her turn around and you realize that’s not your wife, I have.

-M. Lam-Paz