“Waking up with your pants undone when you were suppose to be by yourself gives new meaning to WTF?”

 

Blackmail is a taught skill, ever since you asked mommy why Uncle Frank keeps coming over when daddy is not home and then she buys you a bicycle so you can play outside.

 

 

 

“You ever notice that people think they know the answer, they just haven’t a clue what the problem is”

Manny original

There is an old saying in the government work, “screw up move up”, the bigger the screw up the higher the move up. The reason being that they don’t want to let out any embarrassing secrets by holding a trial or court hearing so they promote people to keep them quiet and give them more responsibility. So basically, we are being governed by a bunch of screw ups.

If I could put a thought in a person’s head it would be for them to think for themselves.

Manny original

So if God went to hell to fight the devil and he kills the devil, where does the devil go?

 

A cop pulled me over and asked “Did you have anything to drink tonight?”, I said  “No ociffer, just this water here on my lap” the officer picked up the bottle and said “That’s wine” I stuck my head out the window and yelled “Jesus, you did it again”.

“I woke up to an ex girlfriend rubbing my face, I asked her what she was doing, she said trying to erase that ugly mark”

Turning the tables is only good if your are the one doing the turning, otherwise you have to eat the crap on the other person’s plate.

Manny Original

Therapists say that something that you do repetitively can become an addiction, and should not be done. I told her I’ve been breathing since I was born but I don’t think I want a cure.