cEAnE!tdO

I get a phone call and the guy says “a mouth is a mouth”, he was saying that mouths were gender neutral. I disagreed with him but in these days , gender identity seems to be a problematic argument so I just told him “I don’t see it that way but you can. I’m sure it makes for fun barbecues when you’re playing spin the bottle”.

These phone anecdotes are pretty much true and I share them prior to them being distorted as to who said what. Still don’t know exactly why this same person keeps asking me these questions.

Or maybe he was just saying I got a pertty mouth……

WTF Moment

WTF

Starting a new category I’m going to call WTF Moments. I’ll start one that happened to me. There  was a short time in my life that I was homeless and sleeping out of my car. I was parked in the middle of a field and it was a rainy night. I fell into a deep sleep, the one that feels like you are hypnoed out and you can’t wake up. About half way through the night I felt something wet in my crotch area and woke up to find my belt undone, my jeans unzipped and pulled apart, my car door open and unlocked and, well, the one eye monster peeking over my boxers and wet. Didn’t see anyone around but definitely a WTF moment. I had been homeless for a year by that point and usually parked where there are cameras. The only difference that night was that I parked in a middle of a field where there were no cameras.

True story and not the only time this type of behavior occurred. I had a couple of break-ins into my home, one of them, a person pinched my rear, left a bruise, and left the sheets off of my pelvic area. Didn’t wake up, couldn’t wake up.