My son used have problems with bullies, most children do, even the bully themselves sometimes have their own tormentors and that’s why they torment. I’m not here to talk about about the psychology of the bullies, I’m here to tell you how I handled the situation.
I gave my son guidelines on how to act in case of an attack by a bully. I told him to follow some common sense reasoning that would make sure that he would not get in trouble. I said if it gets to be too much, just walk away, laugh like it’s funny and walk away. If the bully gets frustrated and tries or does hit you, and it doesn’t leave you in fear for your safety, walk away and tell a teacher. If the bully wants to fight you and you tried to walk away and he has thrown multiple shots at you, then you must defend yourself.
I taught my son how to box and to do push ups, sit ups and planks. I bought him a heavy bag, gloves and used my old focus mitts and taught him the basics of boxing. To my surprise, he packed quite wallop with his right hand, so I taught how to strengthen his left hand and how to throw a left hook. I taught punches by numbers, 1 through 12, starting with a stiff jab to the nose or eye (#1) and ending with a bolo punch or modified uppercut to the midsection with that powerful right of his (#12). The funny thing is that boxing took to him like a fish takes to the water. He was a natural. He has good coordination, he now invents his own combinations, he can start with a jab and move to the right and hook downstairs and then hook upstairs with his left. What this did was take his mind of the bullying, he had to focus on what he was doing, and it instilled a confidence that only being good at a sport can do. The other funny thing is, he doesn’t like boxing. He likes computer games.
The name calling is what bothered him. So I started to call him fat (he isn’t, he’s actually really thin) and making fat jokes and started to throw yo mama jokes at him. He would laugh and he would hit me right back with the different fat and yo mama jokes. Now when he gets teased, he has an arsenal of yo mama and fat jokes to rely on and more importantly, it doesn’t bother him anymore. He laughs but he takes them as jokes, like if it was me and him playing the dirty dozens. He doesn’t get bullied hardly at all now, since he has his own jokes and I taught him how to laugh at himself and not to take things so seriously. This is Step 3 but in a line of defense against bullies, this is his step 1. This is his go to solution. But if things do get out of control, then I’m sure he will know to walk away and if things do become violent, I hope that his boxing kicks in. While I don’t want that, I would rather he be prepared for the worst and only experience the best than not be prepared at all.
The reason my son started to get bullied in the first place, only the “O”ld man knows…..