I’m sure this has happened to everyone else. I just didn’t really know how to handle it. I was on a work trip to San Francisco and I went to a bar with my fellow worker. We saw two young ladies at the bar talking and he became interested in one. He asked me to play the wing man while he tried to get to know the other one a little better. Being married, wing man and ice breaker was my designated role on all layovers. I get in there and make a complete ass of myself telling quirky stories and talk up my buddy. He comes over and buys a round and I stay talking to the other young lady or ladies while he figures out which of the ladies he likes. For me it was always a lesson in futility because 99.9 per cent of the time they completely strike out and it gives me a story to tell the fellas at work if they don’t pay for the taxi back to the airport the next day. This day, my buddy seems to find someone that he eyes. She eyes him back and the next thing I know we are all headed to our hotel. I don’t really care what these guys do but on the way back I kept asking her friend if she wanted me to pay for a taxi for her so she could go back home, since her friend was the one that drove. She kept saying no, that she would be alright. This started to give me a funny feeling. I looked at my friend and whispered to him that he better figure something out. We get back to the hotel and he goes to the front desk and, when they weren’t watching, I made a beeline to the elevators and went to my room. The next thing I know, I hear knocking at my door and the young lady asking for me to let her in. I first spoke in Spanish “no hablo ingles” to try and ward her off. She left only to come back and try again and this time she said “Jeff told me you were Spanish or Mexican”. So I tell her “look, I’m married, I can’t let you in”. She was persistent and I locked the door with the security latch. I kept telling her no and I hear her leave. I go back to bed and I get a call from my friend and he says to let her in or he wouldn’t be able to close the deal. I told him that your deal is not my problem, pay for a room for her friend or pay for a taxi. He gave me shit for the next ten minutes so I said alright, tell her to come back here. When she got back, I yelled “No hablo fucking Ingles, I’m married, tengo catarro. You’re not getting in”. She left and when I woke up the next day I got ready for work, I met my partner, we were in Law Enforcement, in the lobby and he gave me shit. I told him, “yeah, I don’t care, yo no hablo ingles, tengo catarro, next time get her friend a room or go to their house”. I played wing man a lot over the years.

I know I’m like million, hundreds of millions of people that would do the same thing. I’m just dealing with the portion of the population that would allowed her to come in.