I was walking with my girlfriend outside a Kroger near Wright Patt AFB in Ohio. Me and my girlfriend, who was African American, were talking when an older white lady, and when I say older, she was about 40, I was 23, walked by with abs that you could throw a quarter at. If after throwing a quarter at her abs you didn’t get two 12.5 cent pieces, the quarter would have definitely bounced off like it was hitting a brick wall. Now, me being naive and noticing this lady as she walked by and smiled, I just said to my girlfriend “did you see that lady’s abs”? She turned and smacked the cheez wiz taste out of my mouth (it really wasn’t that hard, more like a love tap), grabbed the keys, jumped in the car and took off. I had to walk 5 miles back to the house where she said “I’m sorry” and I just looked and said “aha”. Lesson learned, if you going to look at a woman’s amazing abs as she walks by, make sure you can point out what’s behind her so you can tell your girlfriend, I think we need to buy some Kroger brick wall.

As I got older I never understood this fascination with six pack abs. I had friends show off and women asking me how to get them? I’d  say I don’t know, never had them, but I had twinkies, they’re good. I have a flat stomach, when I lay down. My abs are ripped, all along the wrinkles.